Brand Identity & Positioning

If you want to stand out from the sea of sameness — which I assume you do, because you’re here and not at some suit-bro digital marketing agency — you have to get a feel for the tide, which is what my discovery process is all about. I spend a lot of time analyzing what your peers are saying and doing, and how. Then I build out a three-dimensional ideal customer, a fully formed brand persona, and the key value propositions that set you apart from the rest.

Website Copy

Most business owners look at OPW (Other People’s Websites) to determine how they should position themselves. Et voilà! Everyone on the Internet sounds the same! Truth: You DO need to get down with OPW… so you can say some different shit. And that, my friend, is where I come in. (PS. I have a 3-0 record of moving my clients to tears. Eat that, Cleveland Indians.)

Email Marketing

Here’s a radical idea: Email Marketing as we know it is dead. Your customers’ brains are fried from information overload, and they don’t even care about the 1,489 unread emails in their inbox, because 1,487 of those emails are trying to sell them something — and they know it. It’s time to try a different approach, starting with: What would your customer like to read today? Check out my portfolio for examples.

Product Descriptions

If your customer’s gotten to the point where she’s reading a product description, that means she’s already hooked enough to want to learn more. Read: She WANTS to be sold to, soooo bad. And nothing kills the mood like a dry-as-dust, corporate-sounding product description, amiright? This is why I lurrrv product descriptions — a little humor and some unexpected linguistic moves are all it takes to close the deal.

Ghostwriting / Copyediting

Fun fact: I kinda want to be Stephen King. One problem, though — I can’t seem to glue my ass to this chair for long enough to, you know, write the next Dark Tower series. So to make up for it, I spend lots of time working on other people’s books — trimming away the fat, excavating your brilliance, and saying exactly what you were trying to say, only better than you ever could’ve said it yourself. And you know what? I’m really fucking good at it.